What you should do when you think of getting a divorce.

Marriage is about becoming a team,you are going to spend the rest of your life learning about each other, and every now and then,things blow up. But the beauty of marriage is that if you picked the right person and you both love one another, you will always figure out a way to get through it.

Maybe you've just found yourself sitting on the edge and you feel like you have just 2 options; Quit or stay. i want you to know that divorce is a personal decision and most times, spouses only think of themselves when they consider divorce. You should always, no matter the circumstances, give it one last try and who knows, you might just get that improved marital life. You should know these 3 things though.

1.- What is really the problem?  most women say ' i am not just happy anymore'. i'm not trying to belittle your feelings but that doesn't make sense. why are you not happy anymore? why you focus on the why, you gain clarity and you can be able to focus on what the problem really is.

When you've gotten clear on your why, which is a very good start. then you proceed to let him know what needs to change,to aid your satisfaction in the marriage. what do you really want? more attention? Freedom?(positively), or you just need a deep level of emotional and mental connection? communicate your needs clearly.

2.- Talk about things you need- you know one of those heart to heart talks? i suggest you do this when this get a bit hot and heated, when the both of you are feeling a little less angry in the midst of all you got going on. Be very specific about your needs, communicate them with clarity, the catch here is the 'i' word.

Don't just say you never listen to me or you never care about my emotional needs, instead, try; i would really love us to try and listen to each other affectionately and spend some quality time together. try to keep calm during the whole conversation and always listen more than you talk.

Don't be arrogant and please do not give threats. this will only be compounding the problem.

3.- Beware Of friends/family- our family members and friends can really be doing us more harm than good when it comes to delicate issues like this. they might even think they are protecting us when they tell us to leave our marriages just because this gets a bit awry and they feel they don't want us to get hurt, Be careful, they might be sentimental.

You know mothers, they will quickly tell you to move back in with them rather than focus on solving the issue. is that what you truly and really want? if you have some friends or some routines that are not making it easy for you to focus on your marriage, you need to cut them off right now. Make your marital life a priority.

When you cut out distractions, you are going to have all the energy you need to focus on making your marriage work. God bless your family. Please do share with a wife, and leave a comment.